Same girl

B2, b² mahorror angu

Whether its witchcraft, sorcery or utter madness I really do not know how to handle myself right now. I am a total mess.

My dad and I are dipping from the same honeypot. I recently found out my two year old child is my dad's.Upto now I am still confused as to why and how.

These two openly hate each other they are sworn enemies or thats what they wanted us to believe. My wife and dad have been together the longest.

I am a spit image of my dad and at one time somebody mistook me for him at a very unusual place. My dad doesn't go such places or so I thought.

I played along and pretended to be my dad. If you see me with him you would think we are siblings. He often introduces me as his young brother. He doesn't look his age btw.

At one point I got into a fight with my wife over her spending so much time on her phone. It was then she told me I wasnt half the man my dad was.

It was then I lost it and descended on her. I beat helluva her. What nonsense was she getting at comparing my manhood to that of my father's.

I condemn violence on women but on this day, l understood why some women are always beaten up. They really can't  keep their mouth shut.

What my wife said really broke me. I wasn't sorry I beat her, the beating wasn't enough to bring my self-esteem up. I threatened her with divorce and spent a week giving her the silent treatment.

In all that time she kept begging me, telling me her tongue had slipped. I wasn't  buying it at all. So I eventually packed my stuff and made way to the door.

It was then she screamed and started sobbing bitterly, she knew I wasnt going to come back had I left at that moment. She begged and pled all I needed was answers.

Eventually after holding me at the door she told me about her long time lover and the father of her child. It was my dad. At that moment I felt my breath rushing out, my head spinning and my body shaking. 

On that day of revelation I broke down attacking her was not the solution. I was numb for quite some time. Listening to her narrate the story of how they met shattered every nerve in me.

The thought of strangling her kept playing in my head. Seeing her bleed would only give me satisfaction. On the other hand I thought of ending my life. All this was happening while she explained her sorry self.

In a fit of rage I drove to my father's place and confronted him. Instead of admitting his mistake he accused me of stealing his happiness as a man he had to think two steps ahead.

Two steps!!! thats my wife, what do you mean. Its like he had been harboring this anger in his heart and the truth coming out had him having a field day with me.

The words my own father spoke to me, I will never be able to say them to anybody let alone my own child should I have any after such betrayal.

My world has crumbled and I really do not know how long I will be able to hold on. The pain of being compared to my dad, the thought of my wife and dad together, the thought of my supposed son being his!

The betrayal and pain. I do not think I am ever going to come back from this one. If only my mother was alive maybe things would be different.

Killing me softly is what they did. There is no strength left in me to fight anymore am torn apart.

#keepingitblue💙